01 January 2007
When the Lights Go Down...
The guy across the street is a psycho.
Number One Son's primary money-earning chore is lawn-mowing, but he's only here on alternating weekends. A few months ago, the bozo decided that our grass was too long so he sent his grandson over to offer to mow it.
"No Thanks, that's N.O.S's job." About 15 minutes later, we heard a lawnmower out front. Sure enough, there's the grandson mowing our lawn.
I went outside, waved him off, thanked him for his effort (he's just doing what he's told - it's not his fault grandad is an @$$), and sent him on his way. Meanwhile, the nutcase sauntered over and proceded to blast Bud Light breath at me while going on about how my lawn was 'a disgrace' and how he was going to call the homeowner's association on me.
I called the cops and had Officer Law come out and advise him what constituted illegal lawn height as defined by City Ordinance, what constituted trespassing and what constituted Drunk and Disorderly.
I was particularly amused by the accusation that my lawn was 'a disgrace'.
You see, the psycho likes to hang lights on his house for any occassion. He starts on Halloween(orange), continues on through Thanksgiving (Yellow & Red), Christmas (Red, White & Green), Valentine's Day (red), St Patrick's Day(green), Easter (white), Memorial Day (red, white and blue)and 4th of July(rw&b again). Christmas is the worst. He likes to play 'keeping up with the Jones' with the neighbors.
About 4 years ago, he (and his buddy who has since moved) asked if they could put lights on our house (as I'd made it clear that I wasn't into all the materialistic BS that Christmas has become). I relented and allowed them to perform their illumination, but wan't going to be accountable if they fell from our 2nd storey.
When March rolled around, I asked him when he was planning on taking them down. "Why would I take them down?"
Every time he tells me something of mine is 'a disgrace', I advise him that begging to illuminate someone's house and then refusing to remove the lights - that's a disgrace.
Anyway, I told you that story in order to tell you this one: Numbnuts was taking his lights down today - New Year's Day. This reminded me of the New Year's Day about 6 years ago, when I asked him if he needed help taking down his Kwanzaa Lights.
"They're Christmas Lights," he advised me. (He probably said "There" not "They're. He's not too bright)
"Then why are you taking them down on the last day of Kwanzaa?"
"When should I take them down?"
"On Twelfth-Night"
"What's that?"
This from someone who touts himself as 'holier than thou' who doesn't have lights on their house.
Number One Son's primary money-earning chore is lawn-mowing, but he's only here on alternating weekends. A few months ago, the bozo decided that our grass was too long so he sent his grandson over to offer to mow it.
"No Thanks, that's N.O.S's job." About 15 minutes later, we heard a lawnmower out front. Sure enough, there's the grandson mowing our lawn.
I went outside, waved him off, thanked him for his effort (he's just doing what he's told - it's not his fault grandad is an @$$), and sent him on his way. Meanwhile, the nutcase sauntered over and proceded to blast Bud Light breath at me while going on about how my lawn was 'a disgrace' and how he was going to call the homeowner's association on me.
I called the cops and had Officer Law come out and advise him what constituted illegal lawn height as defined by City Ordinance, what constituted trespassing and what constituted Drunk and Disorderly.
I was particularly amused by the accusation that my lawn was 'a disgrace'.
You see, the psycho likes to hang lights on his house for any occassion. He starts on Halloween(orange), continues on through Thanksgiving (Yellow & Red), Christmas (Red, White & Green), Valentine's Day (red), St Patrick's Day(green), Easter (white), Memorial Day (red, white and blue)and 4th of July(rw&b again). Christmas is the worst. He likes to play 'keeping up with the Jones' with the neighbors.
About 4 years ago, he (and his buddy who has since moved) asked if they could put lights on our house (as I'd made it clear that I wasn't into all the materialistic BS that Christmas has become). I relented and allowed them to perform their illumination, but wan't going to be accountable if they fell from our 2nd storey.
When March rolled around, I asked him when he was planning on taking them down. "Why would I take them down?"
Every time he tells me something of mine is 'a disgrace', I advise him that begging to illuminate someone's house and then refusing to remove the lights - that's a disgrace.
Anyway, I told you that story in order to tell you this one: Numbnuts was taking his lights down today - New Year's Day. This reminded me of the New Year's Day about 6 years ago, when I asked him if he needed help taking down his Kwanzaa Lights.
"They're Christmas Lights," he advised me. (He probably said "There" not "They're. He's not too bright)
"Then why are you taking them down on the last day of Kwanzaa?"
"When should I take them down?"
"On Twelfth-Night"
"What's that?"
This from someone who touts himself as 'holier than thou' who doesn't have lights on their house.
